I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
