If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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