I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
