My sheets look like a crime scene.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
