So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
