That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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