My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
