they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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