She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
