Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
