so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
