for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
