No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
