she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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