you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
