My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
