1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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