I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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