My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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