You're my little dorito
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
