Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
