I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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