Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
