I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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