Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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