Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
