Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
third nipple confirmed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
