she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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