Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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