can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Don't EVER smell your tampon
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
