Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
