Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
