pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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