My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
