I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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