Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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