I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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