How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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