my phone needs a breathalizer
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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