The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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