This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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