Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
too bad you live with your parents still
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
