if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
