I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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