Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My liver just had a heart attack.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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