Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think a kid would responsible me up
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
