But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
