So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
