let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
