I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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